WHY DO PEOPLE FIND DEPRESSION SO HARD TO TALK ABOUT?

Incredible photography from Christian Hopkins. 

Incredible photography from Christian Hopkins. 

I think we've been taught by older generations and society that mental illness is something to hide - because 30, 40 years ago it wasn't something that was ever discussed. I know I have my own reasons for not being able to talk about it.

Personally, it's a vulnerability. I can't function when someone sees through my tough exterior and finds the depression inside. I feel as though I am riddled with it, and I fear that people will judge me or ridicule me if they ever knew how terrifyingly sad I really am.

In my darkest days, I feel numb. Like a switch has been flipped and I don't feel anything. I find myself going through the motions of things, eating, working, socialising (barely) until I generally can't sleep at night because the nightmares take over and swallow me whole.

On the whole, I find it hard to open up to people, and it's even scarier when they want to really know you. I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to 'kill the vibe'. I often feel as though when people ask 'are you okay' they don't really care for the answer. And so more often than not, I lie and say 'I'm fine' even when the world is swallowing me up and spitting me back out.

I shut myself down sometimes, block people from my mind and put up walls as high as Mount Everest to stop people from seeing me. It's a terrifying thing to live with. I can't speak for everyone when I talk about why I struggle to talk about depression. I don't want to be seen as broken, even though that's exactly what I am.

There are so many silent sufferers and I can say how it affects me but I can't speak for everyone else who has it. I am learning not to build walls and I am learning to talk about it out loud. It's an important thing to be talked about, but people still seem afraid to speak out.

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Josie Megan.

"22, charity worker and all round decent person (at least I try to be). I like music, baking, writing and staying in bed for long periods of time. I cry when I see puppies. "

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